How many times must I forgive?

“Peter went up to Jesus and said, ‘Lord, how often must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? As often as seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘Not seven, I tell you, but seventy-seven times.”

Mat 18:21

So What is Forgiveness?

The America Psychological association defines forgiveness as: ”  it involves a voluntary transformation of one’s feelings, attitudes, and behavior toward the individual, so that one is no longer dominated by resentment and can express compassion, generosity,”.

So the key idea here is the transformation of myself toward the other. A transformation of my behaviour  and actions toward you who have wrong me.  BUT there is something so sweet about nursing that hurt when we are wronged over and over again! Unfortunately we hug them tight!

Interestingly there is a saying that goes practice makes perfect. Skill is not something we learn but build by doing over and over again. .Thomas Wilsons rhetoric handbook in the 1550s is cited for phrasing  being made perfect thorough practice.

The  Repetition 

Jesus is teaching us something here. We must practice our forgiveness in order to be made perfect. In order for it to become part of  us. But I am wounded I am hurt how can this be done? It’s good to reflect on St Pauls point that “If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it,”( 1 Cor 12:26). Without our practicing forgiveness we continue to injure the  body of Christ and his church. The first step is seeking the grace in sacramental confession and then practicing it.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14-15). So that’s it. You have to forgive if you want to be forgiven.  Something to think about : In Confession, Jesus has given us a beautiful, powerful and life-changing sacrament that brings us closer to Him and those we love.